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f*ck my life


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#1 Capt.John

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 08:11 PM

f*ck It.

Some lulzy stuff there


Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML
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#2 SuHh

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 08:59 PM

yea i found this site a while ago... good stuff!

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "f*ck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
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#3 Aziz

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 12:14 AM

Some funny sh!znet!
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#4 Jack

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 02:18 AM

pretty funny
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#5 DarkShadow

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 02:19 AM

god damn, I've read that site til like page 40, minus the girl stuff its pretty funny, and I'm actually Lol'ing at some of it, mainly because im drunk and sore as fuck from chest day.
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#6 Jack

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 04:59 AM

god damn, I've read that site til like page 40, minus the girl stuff its pretty funny, and I'm actually Lol'ing at some of it, mainly because im drunk and sore as f*ck from chest day.

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

^
girl stuff...and funny
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#7 yurec

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 12:29 PM

LMAO, Good link. That is funny how stupid does it's gets. I do need to try to read it drunk prob some fun time.
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#8 Jack

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 01:53 PM

LMAO, Good link. That is funny how stupid does it's gets. I do need to try to read it drunk prob some fun time.

^ that's sober?
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#9 MainEvent

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 02:37 PM

FHL.
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#10 yurec

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 02:47 PM

^ that's sober?


Yeah i'm at work, in America they encourage not to drink at work!! :tdown:
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#11 ashbash

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 04:03 PM

FHL.



rofl
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#12 Novahawk

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 07:34 PM

Haha, not bad.

Its funny because I also thought of incoldblood when i saw the title
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#13 Raccoon00

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 07:39 PM

"Today, I had to make a family tree for one of my classes. When I was going through it, I realized that both my parents have the same last name. So, I asked them about it and they told me that they are second cousins. FML"

Edited by Raccoon00, 09 March 2009 - 07:40 PM.

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#14 Novahawk

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 10:57 PM

Haha, i ran into 3 awesome ones that made me laugh out loud. The first 2 were the best but i don't feel like tracking them down again. But this one made me laugh for some reason as well:

"Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML"

:20: :20: beat down witha lamp.
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#15 fadetoblack

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Posted 12 March 2009 - 04:22 PM

"Today, I just finished having dinner with my boyfriend, so I leaned over to him and said seductively, "How about some dessert?" Obviously, he didn't catch my tone, because he then looked at me and said, "Babe, you really don't need it." FML

oops lol

Edited by fadetoblack, 12 March 2009 - 04:23 PM.

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#16 Killian

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Posted 12 March 2009 - 07:00 PM

Without being on my normal caffeine high I don't like it. Well I guess they're funny situations, but nothing to make me actually laugh.
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#17 Raccoon00

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Posted 13 March 2009 - 06:45 AM

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
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