177 replies to this topic

[Flob King]

Heres my fav, I used to have it on a shirt. "God created man, Sam Colt made them equal."

[Ezekiel]

Last night hanging out with a friend, after we stopped at a gas station.

Me: "Damn, this new Lost, is pretty good. Tastes just like Monster Khaos."

Friend: "Yeah?"

Me: "Yeah. Best part is it's cheaper than Monster. I can get Lost for like, a buck fifty."

*Friend bursts out in laughter.*

Me: "What?!? What's so fun.... ohhhh.... Hahaha, yeah, I'm an idiot.

Edited by Ezekiel, 28 March 2006 - 11:11 AM.

[Yatzee_Squirrel]

While interviewing an anonymous US Special Forces soldier on his sniper skills, a Reuters News agent asked the soldier what he felt when shooting members of Al Qaeda in Afghanistan. The soldier shrugged and replied, "Recoil."



^^^
that is f*cking awesome-billy

Edited by Billy Pumper, 30 March 2006 - 11:10 AM.

[Sniprwulf]

no woman no cry?

[Tyler Durden]

Why was this closed?

[Nagash]

"I thought they smelled bad...on.. the outside..."

[Billy Pumper]

There comes a time in your life when you realize who matters, who never did and who always will.
So don't worry about people from your past.
There's a reason they didn't make it to your future- unknown

[AssormentOfCandy]

well if noone has said it already... "i will f*ck yo sh*t up" i came up with that by me self i but i dunno

[Sniprwulf]

"mo money mo problems"

rip big

[Tyler Durden]

"You'll never hit me with a bullet that slow,"
From Versus

(While talking to a friend on a cell phone)
TD-Would it freak you out right now if I told you I was naked?
F-Yea, probably.
TD-Well, guess what...I'm naked.
F-...seriously?

[Tyler Durden]

*After getting owned up in CS*
(On Shabow's Teamspeak server)
Me-Jesus, I am sucking so f*cking bad.
Shabow- Well look at the bright side.
Me- What's that?
Shabow- At least you're not jewish.
*pause*
Me- Good point.

[Novahawk]

"If a Train Station is where a train stops.. then what's a work station?"

-don't remember from where

[Mandraque]

funny quotes....

Big fat young black woman(about 17): "diet?!? why would anyone want diet?? ew....." after my dad asked for diet pepsy at a fast food restaurant.

My dad: "if you talk to them like real people they seem like real people" (about blacks at his new job at home depot)

[At The Gates]

me-"WHAT THE f*ck DID I DO?!?!"

ex- 'you were you"

Edited by At The Gates, 29 July 2006 - 09:05 AM.

[$VT-c0brA]

me = LOOK AT THE f*cking DATES PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


nubs = doh!!!!!!!!!!

[Aziz]

me = LOOK AT THE f*cking DATES PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nubs = doh!!!!!!!!!!

Its a sticky, bro. Meaning people can post when ever they want.

[pusadolfo]

Here are my favorites:

Ace Ventura:

[Aguado stomps on a cockroach to provoke Ventura]
Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?
Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... PORKIN' his wife.
-----------------------
Ace Ventura: If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.

Animal House:

Bluto: See if you can guess what I am now.
[puts mashed potatoes in his mouth, chews it, hits his cheeks with his fists and spits it out]
Bluto: I'm a zit. Get it?
------------------------
[Clorette has just passed out]
Larry's evil conscience: f*ck her. f*ck her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
Larry's good conscience: For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you!
Larry's evil conscience: Aw, don't listen to that jack-off. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
Larry's good conscience: If you lay one finger on that poor sweet helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever... I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Larry's evil conscience: You homo.
------------------------
This isn't exactly a quote but it's my favorite part of the movie

Charming guy with guitar: I gave my love a cherry / That had no stone / I gave my love a chicken / That had no bones / I gave my love a story / That had no end / I gave my...
Bluto: [grabs the guitar and smashes it against the wall] Sorry.

The Usual Suspects:

[Keaton is introducing quiet Verbal to the other suspects in the cell]
Keaton: His name is Verbal. Verbal Kint.
McManus: Verbal?
Keaton: Yeah.
Verbal: Roger, really. People say I talk too much.
Hockney: Yeah, I was just gonna tell you to shut up.
--------------------------
[after being strip-searched]
Fenster: Man, I had a finger up my asshole tonight.
Hockney: Is it Friday already?
--------------------------
Verbal: How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?

Wayne's World:

Garth Algar: Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick.
--------------------------
Garth Algar: Uh, Wayne?
Wayne Campbell: Yeah?
Garth Algar: Do you ever get the feeling Benjamin's just using us?
Wayne Campbell: Good call. It's like he wants us to be liked by everyone. I mean Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes everybody liked. They left that to the Bee Gees.
--------------------------
[Ron Paxton demonstrates his new invention, the "suck kut"]
Ron Paxton: As you can see, it sucks as it cuts.
Wayne Campbell: It certainly does suck.
Garth Algar: [getting a suck-cut] Aaaahh! Turn it off man, turn it off! It's sucking my will to live! Oh, the humanity!
--------------------------
Garth Algar: [while reading Benjamin's planner] Daily reminder, Thursday: Purchase feeble public access cable show, and exploit it. Gee, I feel sorry for whoever *that* is.

Snatch:

Avi: Should I call you Bullet? Tooth?
Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.
--------------------------
Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again.
--------------------------
Policeman: So, what you doin here?
Turkish: I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?
Policeman: What's in the car?
Turkish: Seats and a steering wheel.

And my all time Favorite!! Scar Face :

Tony Montana: I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.
--------------------------
Hector the Toad: You want to give me the cash, or do I kill your brother first, before I kill you?
Tony Montana: Why don't you try sticking your head up your ass? See if it fits.
--------------------------
Immigration Officer #1: Where'd you get the beauty scar, tough guy, eatin' pussy?
Tony Montana: How'm I gonna get a scar like that eating pussy?

[Mandraque]

dam its supposed to be your one favorite...but i supposed ^that^ works

[Xiertic]

Me: Owww, why you gotta be so violent?
Wife: Because it's the only way anything gets done right.

--

Blackwasp: I wasn't camping! I was just sitting there and waiting.

Edited by Xiertic, 06 August 2006 - 01:20 PM.

[Glacius]

Who follows the form of the function of what and what i am is a man in a mask

I can see that

But of course you can, i am not questioning your powers of observation, but simply stating the paradox of asking who a man in a mask is.