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Questions And Logical Things


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#1 Spears

Spears

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Posted 10 December 2004 - 10:54 AM

Just Decided to post some funny things i found on the net:


Evolution created anchovies.
Man's ignorance put them on pizza.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life.
(unless I buy something)

Confession is good for the soul,
but bad for your career.

Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.

Life would be so much easier if we just had the source code

Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.

I can only please one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow is not looking good either.

Time is just nature's way
to keep everything from happening at once.

Always give 100% at work:
12% Monday
23% Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5% Friday


How come we have to choose
from just 2 persons for president,
and 50 for Miss America?

I Live in my own little world,
But it's OK,
Everyone knows me here.

If a thing is worth doing
it would have been done already.

If your voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.

People who say you can't buy happiness
just don't know where to shop.

Join the army
Travel the world,
Meet interesting people
And kill them.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

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What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

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Don't get married.
Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

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Ham and Eggs
A day's work for a chicken;
A lifetime comittment for a pig.

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Be nice to your kids.
They'll choose your nursing home.

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LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTHCONTROL

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When things look dark,
hold your head up high
so it can rain up your nose.

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It's a small world so you
have to use your elbows a lot.

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I still miss my ex.
but my aim is getting better!

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PATRONS ARE REQUESTED TO REFRAIN
FROM DISPOSING OF THIER CIGARETTE
BUTTS IN THE URINAL AS THEY BECOME SOGGY AND DIFFICULT TO LIGHT.

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I FOUND JESUS!
He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana,

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Question:
Which is worse, Ignorance or Apathy?

Answer:
I don't know and I don't care.

(for those who do know apathy is lack of feeling and emotion)

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The U.S. Congress
100 Senators;
435 Representatives;
No Clues

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I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

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In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.

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There will always be death and taxes,
however, death doesn't get worse every year.

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I don't do drugs anymore
'cause I get the same effect
by just standing up too fast.

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Hard work will pay off later.
Laziness pays off now!

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If marriages were outlawed,
only outlaws would have in-laws.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will
sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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A picture is worth a thousand words
but it uses up a thousand times the memory

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Tell Me again
how lucky I am
to work here.

I keep forgetting.

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INSTANT HUMAN
(Just Add Coffee)

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For Sale -- Iraqi rifle.
Never fired. Dropped once.

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What happens if you get scared
half to death twice?

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The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

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Two rights do not make a wrong.
They make an airplane.
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#2 Mohawk

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Posted 12 December 2004 - 06:42 PM

Ey

Thank YOu Man These are very usefull :P
I can be funny at school sometime :P
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#3 ThugLife

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Posted 22 December 2004 - 11:38 AM

Always give 100% at work:
12% Monday
23% Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5% Friday


now is that a good week? :grin:
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