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The Man in the Shadows


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#21 Raccoon00

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Posted 05 September 2006 - 06:16 PM

awwwwwww i wasnt in it...........o well..great story though....(didnt read it all though)
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#22 Mr. Sticks

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Posted 05 September 2006 - 10:09 PM

I just read the other half of the story. Very nice work, Commie. I think you tried to incorporate as many BoSS members into the story as possible without making a 300 page novel with 8 size font, and you accomplished it well. I've got it bookmarked in case I want to look at it again in the future.
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#23 Frag0holic

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Posted 05 September 2006 - 10:50 PM

"...and Frag sent him on his way off the roof by hurling a monitor into his gut." lol wtf :20:

Very nice story!

Funny how Ashbash is a girl in the story, suits him :tup:
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#24 Buck_Shot

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 12:24 AM

very nice commie :perk: no offence but you have WAY too much time on your hands :wtf: get a g/f maybe?(jk) but still i liked it :9: (even though i wasnt in it but meh) gj to ya :1:
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#25 Aziz

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 01:12 AM

Lol.
I only read the first chapter, because i have to go to bed, as i, unfortunatelly, have to get up for work early in the morning tomorrow...


But Volga, man... that's awesome. Im sure it would make that screetching sound you describe; however, im not sure anymore - russians seem to be making better cars as of now.

Anyway, where are you actually from?
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#26 Communist

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 04:04 PM

Man, lots of reply work to do. I'll go backwards.

Aziz- I'm actually from Minnesota :P. State of the Nuclear Mosquito FTW. I tried to be descriptive with the car because I was looking up a Russian car type on Wiki and as soon as I saw the front-on pic of the '56 Volga I fell in love :perk:. You don't see lines like that on modern cars, which is an absolute travesty, goddamnit. AND the stupid Russkie f*ckers are ending the Volga line on '07. Dumbasses. ANYHOW,

Buck- You did get a few lines, in the discussion scene in Chap Three, which, despite my dislike of it, was a pretty important scene.

I would just like to say that after writing it I hated that scene. It seems to go with the story like the whole Anakin Dream Bullsh*t did to Episode Three. We've got to shoot whoever the f*ck is writing the scripts for those sh*theaps and use the book universe as the scrips for 7, 8, and 9. That way we'd have ACTUAL WRITERS on those movies.

...ANYHOW...

In response to Ezekiel's post, Xiertic pretty much summed it up. Even with only giving some characters one or two lines and not giving some any (I would have loved writing Nagash, Buck, and SoCo some lines), the story is still TEN THOUSAND f*cking WORDS. That's more than I've ever written on one project, hands-down. (I tried to make up for Nagash's and Billy's short supplies of lines, none at all for Nag's case, by letting them waste Ozzy and Ash :D )

After seeing Ash's avatar and reading some of the more prominent posts by that person, I had actually thought that Ashbash WAS a girl :wtf:. It does suit him, though. :evilgrin:

Frag- I loved giving you lines in this thing because I decided that one person would do all the outrageous killing/wounding stunts, and when I picked a random name it turned out to be Frag. You got the monitor scene and the barricade fights- two of my favorite scenes in my imagination.

Chili- you weren't at the Silo Battle because you got your stupid self shot :D. The lines about Shadow's last squad at the end of Chapter Nine display that. And I also had some characters who I hadn't given enough focus (hell, I totally forgot Wyte until Chapter Nine, and I missed Nagash completely until Chapter Ten- DOH :>.<: ), so I gave them the honors. You had a pretty big part in the story anyhow, nigga, don't get greedy here :1:. You also got one of the better codenames. AND, if you died I wouldn't give you a part in the sequel, so there.

X- Nekulturny is a Russian insult that means "uncivilized". It pretty much fit with the quote from the preceding line..

Styx and Gates- You two actually seem like you'd be an insane team in CS if you worked together, I don't know why but it seems like it. Gates gave a creative description of his akzint in the Heritage thread, so he HAD to have a speaking role. Bostonian Cowboys For The Pwn. And though it may have been missed, a lot of tedious speaking roles in the "explaining sh*t" parts of the story had lines from under-spoken characters- I tried hard to keep it equal, though there were obviously a few focused-on characters :tired:. Can you blame me though? My story. :weee:

Chris- AWESOME I DID MANAGE TO GET MY NAME INTO THE BoSS MAP VIA INSPIRATION OMGPWN! J/K. Honestly, though, that's awesome. I honestly hated taking you, as ARCHITECT, out so early in the story, but it was necessary to the plot. And I wrote the BoSS building half as I saw it, half as you made it. I had to have a mess hall- a compound for fighting is, in my story plot device book, not complete without a big multi-doored room that the defenders build one huge table barricade in. Halls have the corpses pile up too quickly in slaughter scenes- that is honest truth, and something that a good writer should think about. The corpses of the enemy that the hero is wasting aren't gonna vanish into the floor- they'll pile up.

Shadow- Heh. You know you loved it.

Speaker- You DID get banned a whiles back, starting a conflict of interest that I will not elaborate on anymore, so it made sense to put you in the role. I also couldn't think of how to write you, so I basically decided, "f*ck it", and had you be a victim. One of my better murder descriptions too.

Bossman- I KNOW you're reading this under a new account. I will address you thus. The ONLY reason I had you be unbanned in the story was because I didn't want to sacrifice any of the regular members. I don't know what you did to get banned, but if you got banned then you most likely deserved it, since you seemed to have been in higher esteem prior to your banning. I got the idea for Bossman's death from a book I once read. It is gruesomely painful, extremely embarassing (who wants to be remembered as the guy who got pinned to the wall by his dick?), and takes quite a while to kill.

Pusadolfo- Lol, you just seemed like the interrogator type. I wanted to use characters that I hadn't had the chance to use before, so I put Sarge and Bojo as the ground-level interrogation people, the ones who get the info, and put Pusa and Massacre into the positions of the people who make the untalkative ones talk. They both seemed to fit the role. Also, Pusa offered help at the Heritage thread despite being drunk. That level of endurance earned him a good role, if a one-time role.

Snipes- While I do like that you love the story, you posted one thing about yourself when I asked- that you were drunk. That largely afffected the role you played :tup:. I still love ya tho man :9:. (nohomo)

Gaara- Gaara = Meatshield, duh :weee: . You and teh Shlonk only got shot once tho, as I recall (CS notwithstanding). You also got a mention of a knife-rush in one of the CS scenes, and you also got a part at the silo, too- that was an 18 out of 4X chance and several of the slots were reserved. That was an honor in itself.

Woo. Lotsa writing. Reminds me of my NTAG days. Glad you loved the story, sequel probably not gonna come till next summer- school is a big eater of my writing/CS time. Keep posting if you haven't- I do not want to kill my own story thread here.
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#27 pusadolfo

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 06:40 PM

Hey what can i say thanks for takin the time and write an amazin story about BoSS, keep 'em comin.

it's always good to help others, even when drunk jeje.
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#28 Buck_Shot

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 07:21 PM

oops! i guess i did get lines :1: was huge so i read as fast as i could mostly skimming it i didnt really have time to read it thouroughly the other night but im re-reading it now

Edited by Buck_Shot, 06 September 2006 - 07:27 PM.

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#29 Xiertic

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 09:09 PM

X- Nekulturny is a Russian insult that means "uncivilized". It pretty much fit with the quote from the preceding line..


Oh.. Well that's actually pretty accurate, so I guess I can't say anything.
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#30 Ezekiel

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 09:36 PM

Man, lots of reply work to do. I'll go backwards.


In response to Ezekiel's post, Xiertic pretty much summed it up. Even with only giving some characters one or two lines and not giving some any (I would have loved writing Nagash, Buck, and SoCo some lines), the story is still TEN THOUSAND f*cking WORDS. That's more than I've ever written on one project, hands-down. (I tried to make up for Nagash's and Billy's short supplies of lines, none at all for Nag's case, by letting them waste Ozzy and Ash :D )


Wait. How the hell did Xiertic sum up the fact that using "noob" and "T Spawn weapon" pulled me out of the story?

:wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

Though, to be fair. I've never been fond of words associated with gaming. "Pwned", "Newb", "Noob", "Newbie", "Nob", etc can kill any story for me. Not to mention if used in excess in real life conversations, can cause me to become violent.
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#31 Mr. Sticks

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 09:54 PM

Styx and Gates- You two actually seem like you'd be an insane team in CS if you worked together, I don't know why but it seems like it. Gates gave a creative description of his akzint in the Heritage thread, so he HAD to have a speaking role. Bostonian Cowboys For The Pwn. And though it may have been missed, a lot of tedious speaking roles in the "explaining sh*t" parts of the story had lines from under-spoken characters- I tried hard to keep it equal, though there were obviously a few focused-on characters :tired:. Can you blame me though? My story. :weee:


I think it's interesting you said that, because I think Gates and I have only ever been in any of the servers together twice, once on Server 3 for sure, and I think once on Server 1, and we were going against each other both times. I'll have to keep that in mind, though, and maybe get in contact with Gates and see if we can team up some time.
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#32 Aziz

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Posted 06 September 2006 - 11:48 PM

Do you speak russian though?
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#33 RogueAlly

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Posted 07 September 2006 - 12:16 AM

Haha I'm the one who told everyone that we could still get to them and I'm not in on the pwning we dish out at the end.

Amazingly enough, it looks like Commie has something in common with both Ziros and I... if I'm correct about where he got the name Lunatic from and the idea about its construction.

Nice story.
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#34 Billy Pumper

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Posted 07 September 2006 - 12:18 AM

that was awesome i read every single word of it.. no skimming. i enjoyed it. almost lost me when you started using numbers but you came back and wrapped that up quickly.

you are a good writer and i enjoyed it

i think that with a little more writing and some more length that would make an awesome book/ the best B movie i have ever seen
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#35 DarkShadow

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Posted 07 September 2006 - 01:50 AM

Kinda reminds me of the Movie Res Dogs, but with an East Europe Twist.
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#36 Billy Pumper

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Posted 07 September 2006 - 11:21 AM

yeah thats prolly what i was trying to say shadow

if you read this thinking that it is going to be anything but fiction, you won't enjoy it. but i liked it.

can't wait for the B movie to come out on the Sci-Fi channel lol
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#37 SpeakerSilenced

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Posted 07 September 2006 - 11:27 AM

lol. I wasnt complaining about my description or complaining at all. I liked it.
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#38 Communist

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Posted 07 September 2006 - 03:19 PM

I don't speak Russian, but I have picked up a few bits and phrases in books over the years- just enough to make it seem plausible. I want to learn Russian though- it's a fascinating language, and it gives itself easily to beautiful prose.

After seeing the response that you guys gave- and I thank you for it- I've gone digging through half-finished ideas and uncompleted stories that I have in a stack in a box, and I've found one that'll work well for what I have in mind for the sequel. I may release the first chapter as a spoiler soon- just to get you all begging for more :evil:.

Oh! And before I forget.

While I was working on the story, I basically drew names out of a hat to decide who got some roles, since I knew they'd be wanted. Since the Nine never use names, I had to create a list of codenames for every person on the cast list. Here's that list- If you're not on it, tell me, and I'll come up with something. I didn't update the two lists at the same speed, though, so they differ in parts.

DarkShadow: TYRANT
Ace of Spades: CARDSHARK
Aziz: COLOMBIAN
Billy Pumper: PR0NMAN
Chilidog: MANIAC
Chris82: ARCHITECT
Cleric: MEDIC
VTCobra: SNAKEBITE
Communist: BOOMSTICK
Constantine: EMPEROR
Ezekiel: OVERWATCH
Fluke T3h Fish: COINCIDENCE
Gaara: IMMIGRANT
Ghozy: SPIRIT
Inertia: PENDULUM
Korosys420: REEFER
Lost: WANDERER
MadHatter: ECHELON
Monster: ICEBREAKER
Nagash: HIPPIE
Pusadolfo: BARHOPPER
RogueAlly: REBEL
SgtBUTTERYMUFFIN: YUMMY
StonedHatter: BLUNT
Sniprwulf: VODKA
Tjhooker: PIMP
Tyler Durden: PUNCH BUGGY
WyteMafia: IVORY
Xiertic: TREASURE
Youwerekilledbythis -->: WEAPON
Bossman: BENEDICT
MalleyMcnasty: UNIQUE
Novahawk: HAX
At The Gates: COWBOY
Killswitch: LONER
Capt. John: BLACKBEARD
DocSeuss: FANTASY
Ellisracing: HOTROD
Haven: SAFETY
J.Pizzack: TESTER
Kidcapri: YOUNG'N
Kru: KNIFER
Mandarque: BUSTER
Mr. Sticks: ROBOTO
NC Derek: PERV
Sgt. Bojo: CHOCOBO
Shlonky: HEADCRAB
Buck_Shot: ELMER
100|SoCo: VICTOR
Raccoon: PLASTIC JESUS
Wolapitor: WEIRDO
XxInColdBloodxX: REPTILE
Yatzee_Squirrel: NUTCASE
Jediwho?: UNKNOWN
Deathblooms: FLYTRAP
SpeakerSilenced: REPRESENTATIVE
Notorious SoB: NIGGA
Crazy Ivan: RUSSKIE
AK-17: KABOOM

Don't ask me where I came up with the names from. I honestly don't know. Some of them just came out of nowhere.

Edited by Communist, 07 September 2006 - 03:30 PM.

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#39 Mr. Sticks

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Posted 07 September 2006 - 04:02 PM

I don't speak Russian, but I have picked up a few bits and phrases in books over the years- just enough to make it seem plausible. I want to learn Russian though- it's a fascinating language, and it gives itself easily to beautiful prose.

After seeing the response that you guys gave- and I thank you for it- I've gone digging through half-finished ideas and uncompleted stories that I have in a stack in a box, and I've found one that'll work well for what I have in mind for the sequel. I may release the first chapter as a spoiler soon- just to get you all begging for more :evil:.

Oh! And before I forget.

While I was working on the story, I basically drew names out of a hat to decide who got some roles, since I knew they'd be wanted. Since the Nine never use names, I had to create a list of codenames for every person on the cast list. Here's that list- If you're not on it, tell me, and I'll come up with something. I didn't update the two lists at the same speed, though, so they differ in parts.

DarkShadow: TYRANT
Ace of Spades: CARDSHARK
Aziz: COLOMBIAN
Billy Pumper: PR0NMAN
Chilidog: MANIAC
Chris82: ARCHITECT
Cleric: MEDIC
VTCobra: SNAKEBITE
Communist: BOOMSTICK
Constantine: EMPEROR
Ezekiel: OVERWATCH
Fluke T3h Fish: COINCIDENCE
Gaara: IMMIGRANT
Ghozy: SPIRIT
Inertia: PENDULUM
Korosys420: REEFER
Lost: WANDERER
MadHatter: ECHELON
Monster: ICEBREAKER
Nagash: HIPPIE
Pusadolfo: BARHOPPER
RogueAlly: REBEL
SgtBUTTERYMUFFIN: YUMMY
StonedHatter: BLUNT
Sniprwulf: VODKA
Tjhooker: PIMP
Tyler Durden: PUNCH BUGGY
WyteMafia: IVORY
Xiertic: TREASURE
Youwerekilledbythis -->: WEAPON
Bossman: BENEDICT
MalleyMcnasty: UNIQUE
Novahawk: HAX
At The Gates: COWBOY
Killswitch: LONER
Capt. John: BLACKBEARD
DocSeuss: FANTASY
Ellisracing: HOTROD
Haven: SAFETY
J.Pizzack: TESTER
Kidcapri: YOUNG'N
Kru: KNIFER
Mandarque: BUSTER
Mr. Sticks: ROBOTO
NC Derek: PERV
Sgt. Bojo: CHOCOBO
Shlonky: HEADCRAB
Buck_Shot: ELMER
100|SoCo: VICTOR
Raccoon: PLASTIC JESUS
Wolapitor: WEIRDO
XxInColdBloodxX: REPTILE
Yatzee_Squirrel: NUTCASE
Jediwho?: UNKNOWN
Deathblooms: FLYTRAP
SpeakerSilenced: REPRESENTATIVE
Notorious SoB: NIGGA
Crazy Ivan: RUSSKIE
AK-17: KABOOM

Don't ask me where I came up with the names from. I honestly don't know. Some of them just came out of nowhere.


Some of those codenames fit perfectly! There are a few out of place, but most are dead on. Like mine for example, being ROBOTO (Even though it's another damn Styx reference, which I didn't get my name from) or Gaara's IMMIGRANT (ROFL) or Chris' ARCHITECT (perfect codename). Too bad not all the codenames were addressed at one point or another in the story, but I understand that would have taken SO long! Again, great work on the story Commie.
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#40 ghozy

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Posted 07 September 2006 - 04:08 PM

I just read the story. I liked it. Good job. any sequels coming?
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