Jump to content


Photo

Short jokes thread


  • Please log in to reply
55 replies to this topic

#1 Frag0holic

Frag0holic

    I AM DEATH INCARNATE

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,840 posts

Posted 29 October 2006 - 05:15 PM

Let's make a short joke thread, cause we all need a good laugh once in a while.
Post 'em as you find 'em. Just don't paste a whole essay :1:
Ok, I'll start it off...


Laura Bush bought her husband a parrot for his birthday. She told Dick
Cheney, "The bird is so smart! George has already taught him to
mispronounce over 200 words!"

"Wow, that's pretty impressive," Cheney said. "But you realize that he
just repeats the words. He doesn't understand what they mean."

"That's okay," Laura replied. "Neither does the parrot."



:weee: keep em coming!
  • 0

#2 Fluke

Fluke

    Combine Zombie

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 230 posts

Posted 29 October 2006 - 05:45 PM

Q and A

Q: What is a woman who is staring at a blank piece of paper doing?
A: Reading her rights.

Q:How did Helen Keller's Parents punish her?
A. Moved the furniture around
B. Left the toilette plunger in.
  • 0

#3 Inertia

Inertia

    Combine Zombie

  • Server Admin
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 380 posts

Posted 29 October 2006 - 06:22 PM

What do you call a 200 lbs. wisconsin woman???

Anerxic :)
  • 0

#4 XxInColdBloodxX

XxInColdBloodxX

    -The Foxez-

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,665 posts

Posted 29 October 2006 - 08:23 PM

Whats the difference between a Bench and a Mexican...

A Bench can support a family :20:



(Btw, i have mexican friends)
  • 0

#5 Mike2077

Mike2077

    Dirty Rodent

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,341 posts

Posted 29 October 2006 - 08:44 PM

What's the difference between a black person and Batman?

--Batman can go outside without Robin. (Ahkmeds joke)

What do you call two gay guys on rollerskates?

--Rolaids

How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?

--They don't work in the future, either. :20:

This ones great too haha

You hear about the new car made in Israel?

Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.

Edited by Mike2077, 29 October 2006 - 08:49 PM.

  • 0

#6 At The Gates

At The Gates

    Rolling down the street like a retard in disguise.

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,185 posts

Posted 29 October 2006 - 10:28 PM

What's green, covered in crumbs, and lays on the side of a road....

A dead girl scout.
  • 0

#7 Raccoon00

Raccoon00

    Lob

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,396 posts

Posted 29 October 2006 - 10:49 PM

What's the difference between a black person and Batman?

--Batman can go outside without Robin. (Ahkmeds joke)

What do you call two gay guys on rollerskates?

--Rolaids

How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?

--They don't work in the future, either. :20:

This ones great too haha

You hear about the new car made in Israel?

Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.

haha.. wow funny...i acturally laugh...

What do you call an apartment full of blacks?
A COON-dominium.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

Edited by Agent_Raccoon00, 29 October 2006 - 10:52 PM.

  • 0

#8 pusadolfo

pusadolfo

    Ant Lion Guard

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 930 posts

Posted 30 October 2006 - 11:39 AM

Man : God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a million of years?
God: A second.
Man: And a million of dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Sure. Wait a second!

-----------------------------------------------

how do u get 100 jews in a vw beetle??

-- in the ashtray
  • 0

#9 Mike2077

Mike2077

    Dirty Rodent

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,341 posts

Posted 30 October 2006 - 01:09 PM

You hear about the new black Barbie?

--It comes with 10 kids, AIDS, and a welfare check. :20: :20:
  • 0

#10 Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden

    Smoke Bluntz

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,531 posts

Posted 30 October 2006 - 04:08 PM

You hear about the new black Barbie?

--It comes with 10 kids, AIDS, and a welfare check. :20: :20:

Can we cool it a bit with the black jokes?
I mean, I have one hanging in my family tree right now. :evil: (lynching joke)
  • 0

#11 MainEvent

MainEvent

    God of the Godless

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,179 posts

Posted 30 October 2006 - 04:09 PM

What do you call a black priest?

Holy sh*t!
  • 0

#12 Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden

    Smoke Bluntz

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,531 posts

Posted 30 October 2006 - 04:50 PM

Whats the difference between a black guy and a giant sack of sh*t?

The sack :21:
  • 0

#13 SoB

SoB

    Combine Soldier

  • Banned
  • 144 posts

Posted 30 October 2006 - 11:07 PM

here is my fav !@#$%^& joke of all times....really stupid but try to picture it and its funny


Q-what happened to the !@#$%^& when he stuck his head out of the window while driving down the highway

A-his lips beat him to death
  • 0

#14 kidcapri

kidcapri

    Human Shield

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,169 posts

Posted 31 October 2006 - 12:18 AM

^^^^^^

LoL that was f*cking retarded!
  • 0

#15 XxInColdBloodxX

XxInColdBloodxX

    -The Foxez-

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,665 posts

Posted 02 November 2006 - 09:16 PM

What is on top of a baby's crib, and moves back and forth?..
...
....
.....
The Petafile :evil:
  • 0

#16 Mr. Sticks

Mr. Sticks

    Spam Master General

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,107 posts

Posted 02 November 2006 - 09:43 PM

What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I didn't lose my virginity in the corvette.
  • 0

#17 Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden

    Smoke Bluntz

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,531 posts

Posted 02 November 2006 - 09:44 PM

A !@#$%^& walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"

"Africa," says the parrot.

Whats better than 5 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to 5 trees :evil:
  • 0

#18 Mandraque

Mandraque

    Zombie

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,818 posts

Posted 02 November 2006 - 09:51 PM

dead baby jokes huh...i got one


why do you put a baby in the blender feet first?

so you can see the expression on its face.
  • 0

#19 iMSeRiOuS

iMSeRiOuS

    Ant Lion Guard

  • Dedicated Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 995 posts

Posted 02 November 2006 - 10:05 PM

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?














The Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
  • 0

#20 DarkShadow

DarkShadow

    Elitist Fuck

  • Gods
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,746 posts

Posted 02 November 2006 - 10:15 PM

<PROCYONGOD> man, I keep expecting my room to fill up with jews
<CLONER> eh?
<PROCYONGOD> it's an oven in here!

from NWN2 CloneDVD Nfo
  • 0


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users