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Opera CEO not GOING for a SWIM


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#1 DarkShadow

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Posted 27 April 2005 - 05:23 PM

Opera's CEO, Jon S. von Tetzchner heroically saved the life of his PR Manager in a dramatic development this morning when “Phantom", the company inflatable raft, was punctured off the coast of southern Norway. Rumors circulate about possible sabotage, but it may just have been the raft's poor condition that resulted in its complete breakdown as Jon and his helper started on day 2 of their transatlantic swim.

"It was cold and wet and horrible and I was really, really scared," says Eskil Sivertsen, Opera's PR Manager who operated the raft. "The night had been crisp and starlit, and we had fallen asleep in the raft to the gentle movement of the waves. In the morning, I gave Jon two chocolate bars and some of those mini carrots he likes so much before he jumped back into the water. He had only been swimming for an hour or so when the raft suddenly punctured in open sea. I owe my life to Jon, and I can only hope that he doesn't fire me for ruining his dream of swimming to America."

"As much as I don't want to talk behind a colleague's back, there is no doubt that we would never have let Eskil assist Jon in the raft had we known he can neither swim nor read maps," says an embarrassed Tor Odland, Opera's Communications Director. "I feel partly responsible for letting Jon down, as he cannot possibly continue without the raft."

A local farmer spotted the drama from his kitchen window and took surprisingly sharp photos with a remarkably powerful telescopic lens. Word spread and a large group of people quickly gathered around the two castaways when they soon thereafter reached the shore – Jon pushing the deflated raft and the even more deflated PR manager in front of him. Opera's CEO was hailed a hero for his remarkable show of strength and stamina, and as he had grown increasingly comfortable in the role of transatlantic swimmer and adventurer, his disappointment was easy to see for the shocked bystanders.

"I have always dreamt of swimming to America, and I really thought this was my golden opportunity," says Mr. von Tetzchner. "Both the raft and the PR manager were accidents waiting to happen; it is just too bad they had to happen at the same time. He does a good job when he sticks to what he knows, though, so I don't see any reason to let him go. However, I hope people will remember me for the willingness to try rather than this embarrassing incident with the punctured raft. And my mother will be so disappointed when I call and tell her that I won't be stopping by for hot chocolate after all."


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"I owe my life to Jon, and I can only hope that he doesn't fire me for ruining his dream of swimming to America," prays Eskil Sivertsen, Opera's PR manager.
What a Faggy little jew!
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#2 S.W.A.T. 2.0

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Posted 27 April 2005 - 06:07 PM

Bullcrap, that's not a "farmer's camera." I guess they finally realized that it's physically impossible to swim the Atlantic and they stopped doing the phony crap...I mean, where exactly was this farmer anyway? Just happened to be tending his crops when out of the side of his eye he happens to notice a far off raft and runs inside to grab his $5000 camera??

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...
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#3 angrybrit

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Posted 27 April 2005 - 10:26 PM

Sucks just like the browser. :33:
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#4 monster

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Posted 28 April 2005 - 01:59 PM

lol, that's the same angle as the pictures of when these two clowns were leaving...

These guys just took a camera out to the dock and took a bunch of pictures, and released them a few days later...
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#5 Riel

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Posted 28 April 2005 - 02:12 PM

lol no one farms on shores unless its wet crop, plus it aint even farmers season yet haha
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#6 Black Hat

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Posted 28 April 2005 - 06:55 PM

I say they punctured their own raft. It's not uncommon to dive with a knife. I know, I used to dive. More than likely, he punctured the raft. He knew he couldn't make the swim and tried to save a little face. I think it worked. I mean, it's rather hilarious the lengths people will go to get out of something. Opera doesn't really suck by the way. Opera is a pretty good browser, just not as good as FireFox. :9:
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#7 ThugLife

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Posted 28 April 2005 - 08:10 PM

can't be that bad, if 1 million people upgraded in the first 4 days..
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#8 Frag0holic

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Posted 28 April 2005 - 08:24 PM

lol.. so it was all a PR gig after all..
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#9 DarkShadow

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Posted 29 April 2005 - 06:29 AM

guess so, sort of sucks, but im still laughing at that dumb nigg for thinking he can do it...
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#10 misterweels

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Posted 29 April 2005 - 01:34 PM

they could have used a boat or something instead of a sh*tty raft. whos gonna raft and swim to america its cold in atlantic but at least u dont have to deal with sharks.


whales drink all our water :1:

Edited by misterweels, 29 April 2005 - 01:35 PM.

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#11 Aziz

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Posted 01 May 2005 - 04:11 PM

Bullcrap, that's not a "farmer's camera."  I guess they finally realized that it's physically impossible to swim the Atlantic and they stopped doing the phony crap...I mean, where exactly was this farmer anyway?  Just happened to be tending his crops when out of the side of his eye he happens to notice a far off raft and runs inside to grab his $5000 camera??

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


i agree.
those guys are idiots...
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