7 replies to this topic

[Halcomb]

OK seriously, what the f*ck? I get my car to leave my dad's house where I eat dinner bi-weekly and as I'm f*cking driving I see this hot b*tch and this badass doberman-pinscher. So I'm steady staring when I realize I've now ran over a f*cking curb and narrowly missed a mailbox. Trying not to look like a total douche I swerve back onto the road and what the f*ck happens to be in front of me? A kid with his parents pointing a squirrel I'm about to f*cking run over because I'm swerving back onto the f*cking road to miss a mailbox. The kids face was priceless but I still felt like a douchebag for almost hitting a mailbox and wrecking a squirrels day. I mean full on "FATHUNK THUNK THUNK" sounds of the little f*cker bouncing around in my wheel well. Score 1.

So I'm cool right? f*ck no. No more than 2 miles down the road I'm staring at this huge f*cking pile of garbage this redneck ass family has piled next to the side of the road when I realize this f*cking armadillo is about to run in front of me, it stops so I think it's cool then the f*cker just bee lines for my passenger side tire and it f*cking feels like I just ran over a goddamn basketball. So I'm thinking, "What the f*ck...?"

I get home, I'm pissed, checking my cars f*cking front fender/wheel well when I notice my f*cking neighbors cat f*cking around in my bushes. Should I have investigated? f*ck no, but of course being semi-f*cking drunk (read: retarded) I f*cking walk over to discover that this thing I thought was a stick in the f*cking cat's mouth turns out to be a huge pissed off black racer who bites the cat I've startled and the f*cker runs right into me. I pick it up, thinking score, I just didn't get the ever loving f*ck bit out of me by that huge ass snake when the cat I'm now walking over to my neighbors decides to go f*cking bat sh*t crazy and scratch the f*cking buhgeesus out of me.

So f*ck this. I've now locked myself in the house because nature's a f*cking c*nt.

[Florida_Funk]

what are u a f*cking yankee. Go load your gun and take your ass back out side and show nature whats up.

[Halcomb]

f*ck that. You've played mario brothers and every other f*cking game, levels get progressively harder. I've just killed the squirrel, the armadillo and escaped the snake. f*cking next come the bears and mountain lions. I'm staying the f*ck inside.

[Halcomb]

what the f*cking double post.

Edited by Halcomb, 05 April 2009 - 07:55 PM.

[Jack]

you sould have parked the car on the curb, got out and got that chicks number....you pussy

[Halcomb]

you sould have parked the car on the curb, got out and got that chicks number....you pussy

If I wouldn't have swerved I would have ate the mailbox, and after scarring that kid by hitting the f*cking squirrel he was pointing at, it was pretty much a no-go.

Although I could have went, "See what I did to the squirrel? Your number or the dog's next," and just pray she didn't have mace.

[Killian]

So I'm cool right? f*ck no. No more than 2 miles down the road I'm staring at this huge f*cking pile of garbage this redneck ass family has piled next to the side of the road

Probably was Jack's.

[Tidbit]

f*ck that. You've played mario brothers and every other f*cking game, levels get progressively harder. I've just killed the squirrel, the armadillo and escaped the snake. f*cking next come the bears and mountain lions. I'm staying the f*ck inside.

Funniest thing I've heard all day.