Believe me, it's dead. There is nothing that can be done to save it.
Off to buy a PCI network card, i guess, or RMA the board. Whatever.
I'll be back on when i get this sh*t sorted out.
EDIT: after turning off my PSU and my UPS for a little while, the f*cking thing shows up again in Device Manager, albeit with an error. Currently trying to fix it (error 31)
EDIT again: spent a few hours installing different drivers and rebooting more times that I can count. I'm just going to buy a PCI network card and call it a day.
UPDATE: I bought the card and the PCI slot isn't giving the card power. Ill be out for a bit and ill try some more tonight. Stay tuned for the adventures of RMAing my board
Edited by Stubs, 30 April 2010 - 04:51 PM.