Ok so I'm working very hard today (not really) and the MacDonalds double cheseburgers I had for Lunch started to erupt in my colon so I rushed to teh Jon to take a dump.
It was more of a Liqua-sh*t than a real solid dump and came out with a quick burst and then a short drizzle. Since it made quite a mess shooting sh*t water all over my ass and legs, I used Liberal amounts of TP to clean up the mess. As it turned out this was a BIG mistake.
After the initial cleanup period I looked down at the bowl and after cringing at what I just made I noticed that there was no way in hell that it would all flush down without clogging as I had another freshly used wad in my hand. As I'd rather not have sh*t water overflow all over my favorite jon (by the looks of it I may need to use it again shortly in the future) I dediced to use the MULTI flush technique.
I decided to flush the toilet and then give everything a good extra wipe just to be sure. This was a BAD idea.
So I flush the toilet and to my dismay I notice that I overshot it and the water was starting to rise. As the water was right up to the bottom of my ass cheeks, I quickly stood up to aviod soaking my ass again with sh*t water.
SO here I stand with my pants around my ankle staring at the sh*t water that is just milimeters from toppling over the top of the bowl with a big wad of already-been-wiped TP. Not to mention that I pretty much had my face pressed up against the door of teh Jon fearing that any sudden movement would trip the sensor on teh Auto-Flush and then I'd be really f*cked. Not only that but I really needed a confidence wipe badly.
But now what do I do??
Do I reach for the TP and risk another wipe or do I pull up my droors and run the f*ck out of there knowing that it would definetly do another autoflush and have 5 gallons of sh*tw*ter all over the place??
Needless to say, I got the f*ck out of there in the nick of time as I heard the flush and seconds later the tell-tale sound of overflow.
I sit here writing this with a rather unfreshing squishy feeling in my ass.
Alls I got to say is f*ck AUTOFLUSH TOILETS
