Grandma's Boy
Started by
XxsilverboyxX
, Jul 04 2007 10:45 PM
9 replies to this topic
#1
Posted 04 July 2007 - 10:45 PM
Anyone here seen the movie grandma's boy???. it was to be one of the funniest movies i've seen in a long time. if you haven't seen it or even heard of it i recommend you go and see it.
#2
Posted 04 July 2007 - 11:30 PM
yea play my head like a bongo monkey.
#3
Posted 04 July 2007 - 11:36 PM
I love that movie..
#4
Posted 05 July 2007 - 12:08 AM
lol that movie was pretty funny. Grandmas getting toasted ftw!!!
#5
Posted 05 July 2007 - 12:19 AM
hahah, he jerked to the little doll and came on that dudes mom haha wicked disgusting. "dude i walk outside and i look and see the f*cking king of the jungle, so i went inside and called 5-0" lol
#6
Posted 12 July 2007 - 09:44 PM
I love this movie...its so great xD
"Play my head monkey, play my head"
"I'm too baked to drive to the Devil's house"
"Drive monkey, drive!"
ROFL
"Play my head monkey, play my head"
"I'm too baked to drive to the Devil's house"
"Drive monkey, drive!"
ROFL
#7
Posted 13 July 2007 - 11:17 AM
Dude, you know you cant raise your voice like that when the lion's here
#8
Posted 13 July 2007 - 12:24 PM
Dante: Wow... where do you get your weed?
Mr. Cheezle: From you, Dante.
Dante: Oh... THAT'S RIGHT! What's up, Mr. Cheezle!
Alex: My Grandma drank all my pot.
Alex: My grandma drank all my pot.
Jeff: That's awesome.
Alex: What?
Jeff: I mean, how many people can say that in a lifetime?
Jeff: Hey, Alex. Can we go back to your grandma's house? I gotta pee.
Alex: Why don't you just go to the alley and pee?
Jeff: I gotta pee out of my ass.
Alex: Well I guess we could go by.
Jeff: Emergency!
Jeff: [stuffing food in his mouth] I'm the cookie monster.
Jeff: Does someone have a light? I found this weed.
Samantha: Oh, I do.
Jeff: [staring at the joint] I wanna smoke it.
Dante: [the phone starts ringing] What's that ringing? Do I have a tumor?
Dante: Does anyone want to try this weed? It's called Brown Explosion.
Alex: What does this one do?
Dante: You get so stoned that you sh*t your pants! Hahahaha!
Jeff: Uh, I don't wanna do that.
Barry: Yeah, I already sh*t my pants this month.
J.P.: [in robot voice] sit on my face
[robot noises]
Jeff: I can't believe you came on my mom!
Dante: Dr. Shakalu brought my some crazy Zimbabwe weed that turns you into a deer.
Alex: You do know that lions eat deer?
Dante: Woah, Your right kid. Doctor, we gotta be careful.
J.P.: Adios, turd nuggets.
J.P.: [Upon leaning against a black wall in a black jacket]
[Stunned]
J.P.: How could he see me?
J.P.: [Robot Voice to Alex walking away] I hate your face.
Alex: [pauses, turns around] Did you say something?
J.P.: [Hides behind coat]
Alex: You're f*ckin' weird.
J.P.: ...How did he see me?
Josh: EAT IT wh*re
Josh: [first line in the movie] f*ck! Stop hitting me.
Jeff: Do you have bathrooms here or do I have to sh*t in a plant?
J.P.: How do you two know each other?
Samantha: I woke him up here this morning. He feel asleep working late last night.
J.P.: Yeah. Well, that's what old people do. They fall asleep.
Alex: Wow J.P, that is a great outfit. How much do clothes cost in The Matrix?
J.P.: [guffaws] So funny I forgot to laugh.
Alex: Hey, Timmy, any chance I can crash on your couch tonight?
Timmy: Why? So you can jerk off on my mom?
Alex: Jeff's a f*cking liar, Timmy!
Alex: Wow. That Grace sure makes me feel warm and welcome.
Grandma Lilly: Well, you'd be bitter too if you had four husbands die on you.
Alex: Probably suicides.
Samantha: Alex, I need you to deal with 10 through 15 because those are the real problem levels and...
Alex: [farts]
Samantha: Is he sleeping?
Jeff: Yes, and possibly sh*tting his pants.
[pats Alex]
Jeff: Wake up, dude.
Alex: [wakes up] No chores, Grandma!
Samantha: Nice rip, Alex.
Alex: Rip what?
Alex: So, ladies, I kind of need to use the televis...
Grace: Shh! Go read your Playgirl or something!
Jeff: Dude, jerking off on my mom is one thing. But banging your grandmother and her roommates? That's like... legendary.
Alex: You're an idiot.
J.P.: Back to work, testers!
Grace: Oh, you can stay as long as you like and love any man you choose!
Alex: Don't slit your wrists, Kane. I'm here.
J.P.: All I've ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don't know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter even though I own one, but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk. I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it.
Jeff: [imitating J.P] My name is J.P. I am a robot. I have a robot vagina.
J.P.: [In robot voice] I am a geeenius!
Dante: [Phone rings] What is that ringing?
[Phone rings again]
Dante: Do I have a tumor?
Dante: [looking around nervously while phone is ringing] What is that ringing? Do I have a tumor?
Jeff: Eat that frog dick Timmy!
Grace: I once gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob
Jeff: Wow, was he silent?
Grace: Not after I got thru with him
Dante: I'll smoke it with ya bro, we'll go to the loony bin together. I don't give a f*ck.
Alex: [hangs up the phone] Dude... you have to give me a ride.
Dante: [after smoking] I'm way too baked to drive to the devil's house.
Jeff: Grace... I have something to confess.
Grace: What's that?
Jeff: [pauses] You were my first.
Grace: Really? Oh, that's sweet. You were my...
[thinks hard]
Grace: 3,000-something.
Jeff: [Raises hand to give a high five] Word up.
Josh: She's a massage therapist!
Mover #2: Yeah, she'll massage your cock for money.
Mover #1: There's a word for that, I think it's hooker.
Josh: YOU'RE A HOOKER!
Dante: [Answering the phone stoned] Hello?
Jeff: Dante is Alex there?
Dante: Who is this? Is this the devil?
Alex: Dude, your bed is a car...
Jeff: Yeah, but it's a f*cking sweet car.
Dante: Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr. Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach it taekwondo.
Barry: Yeah, karate monkey, yeah, that's probably safer.
Jeff: Your sh*t's weak!
Jeff: This chick's pussy smelled like the great depression.
Alex: Ever hear of a dog?
Dante: Anybody can get past a dog. But NOBODY f*cks with a lion.
Alex: Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
Dante: Whoa, I don't know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days.
Alex: You're getting a lion?
Dante: Yeah.
Alex: Why?
Dante: To protect my sh*t.
Alex: Never heard of a dog?
Dante: Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody f*cks with a lion.
Alex: Yeah, that's true.
Dante: That is pure f*cking insanity.
Alex: Yeah, I know. He got addicted to hookers.
Dante: No, I'm talking about the guy who threw your bong. You should never throw a bong, kid. Ever.
Shiloh: You guys think you're so f*cking cool, it makes me sick! "Let's go make fun of the vegans and their crazy lifestyle!" We're not hurting anyone! Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!
Jeff: Fruit cup, nice. Way to go mom.
Jeff: Dude, jerking off on my mom is one thing. But sleeping with your Grandma and her two roommates... that's LEGENDARY.
Alex: I don't know what you are but I'm going to f*ckin' eat you too!
Alex: Oh, yes! Finally a roommate who goes shopping. Chicken cutlet, spaghetti with garlic bread, oh, my God, the wings to go with the breast, I don't know what you are but I'm gonna f*cking eat you too.
[looking around]
Alex: Of course she doesn't have a microwave she's f*cking a hundred.
Jeff: What's up Douche Bigalow?
Alex: Hey Speed Racer. Did you valet your bed?
Jeff: No, I self parked it in your ass.
J.P.: Are you afraid of it?
Kane: No I just don't like techno.
J.P.: You would if you had robot ears.
Alex: Dude, why don't you pick up your phone? I've been calling for the past half hour!
Dante: Sorry bro, I was putting up my Christmas tree!
Alex: Dude? It's the middle of July.
Dante: Get the f*ck outta here! It is?
Jeff: I have a bush too, but its not grey
Dante: Whoa, chill bro... You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
Alex: Marathon? f*ck me!
Mr. Cheezle: Very Miyamoto.
Barry: Hey Dante- My girlfriend and I caught you on the news the other night...
Dante: No sh*t? And by "Girlfriend" do you mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick everynight?
Barry: [Laughing hysterically] ... yes...
[Starts to cry]
Bea: Spaceshuttle!
Alex: Who wants a piece of the grey bush?
Milk Maid: Baby want some milk?
Barry: Baby loves milk.
Jeff: So Barry sucked on his first boobie last night.
[people clap]
Barry: [Gleaming with pride] For 13 hours.
Bobby, Co-Worker #1: Challenge.
Jeff: Not now Bobby, Alex's not taking challenges right now. Can't you see he's sleeping?
Bobby, Co-Worker #1: No, I challenge you Jeff.
Jeff: To what came?
Bobby, Co-Worker #1: A little Dance Dance Revolution.
Jeff: That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution so... you're dumb.
Jeff: [looks down] I should have worn a condom.
Yuri: Alex, I make you special deal. I give you five minutes to pack up all your sh*t you don't want thrown out. If you take one extra minute, my two friends, they will take your testicles, and remove them... through your anus.
DDR Machine: [Jeff has just won a DDR Challenge] A NEW HIGH SCORE!
Jeff: [to Bobby, the defeated co-worker] What does "high score" mean? New high score, is that bad? What does that mean? Did I break it?
Alex: Don't Judge Me Monkey
Yuri: Alex, you forgot smoking lamp.
Jeff: Crap that's Alex's intercom.
[answers Alex's intercom and impersonates him]
Jeff: Yello?
Receptionist: Delivery at the front desk for you, Alex.
Jeff: Cool! I hope it's a naked dude with a boner!
Receptionist: What?
Jeff: Nothing.
Jeff: Nice Karma, Guyblow.
Kane: [in reference to Alex] He gives me a reason to live... him and those stank-ass hos.
Alex: [screaming in pain after taking hot tray out of the oven with no gloves on] Cocksucking f*ck!
Alex: You know, I think I forgot something.
Barry: What?
Alex: [Alex pretends to look around for something] This!
[and then kicks Barry in the shin]
Barry: Oh my God. Are you serious? I think he f*cking shattered it.
Samantha: Do you always sleep here, Alex?
Alex: No... uh... I was working late... I love work... I love life.
Alex: [as Alex turns around and Jeff's mom screams bloody murder] Oh, oh my god! I'm sorry! I can't stop coming, I'm sorry! It feels so good!
Jeff: What's up, sh*tlips.
Alex: Hey, I need a huge favor.
Jeff: You're not jerking off on my dad.
Alex: Funny. No, I was wondering if you could do some of my levels.
Jeff: No, why can't you do them?
Alex: It's my roommates. They won't stop watching... porn. I can't get any work done.
Jeff: You're dead to me. Over.
[hangs up phone]
Alex: Well, Jeff's a good friend.
Grace: [as Bea and Lilly are transfixed by the Food Network] Thanks, Alex. Maybe tomorrow you can introduce them to heroin.
Grandma Lilly: [after drinking pot tea] I can feel my... hair growing. You want some soup?
Dante: It's cool that I brought some friends from the Crazy Beaver?
[as a parade of bikers and such file into his grandma's house]
Alex: I wish you would have gone a little less on the crazy and little more on the beaver.
Dante: Relax bro, they're people just like you and me. Now hit this joint and have some fun.
Jeff: Who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era?
Mr. Cheezle: From you, Dante.
Dante: Oh... THAT'S RIGHT! What's up, Mr. Cheezle!
Alex: My Grandma drank all my pot.
Alex: My grandma drank all my pot.
Jeff: That's awesome.
Alex: What?
Jeff: I mean, how many people can say that in a lifetime?
Jeff: Hey, Alex. Can we go back to your grandma's house? I gotta pee.
Alex: Why don't you just go to the alley and pee?
Jeff: I gotta pee out of my ass.
Alex: Well I guess we could go by.
Jeff: Emergency!
Jeff: [stuffing food in his mouth] I'm the cookie monster.
Jeff: Does someone have a light? I found this weed.
Samantha: Oh, I do.
Jeff: [staring at the joint] I wanna smoke it.
Dante: [the phone starts ringing] What's that ringing? Do I have a tumor?
Dante: Does anyone want to try this weed? It's called Brown Explosion.
Alex: What does this one do?
Dante: You get so stoned that you sh*t your pants! Hahahaha!
Jeff: Uh, I don't wanna do that.
Barry: Yeah, I already sh*t my pants this month.
J.P.: [in robot voice] sit on my face
[robot noises]
Jeff: I can't believe you came on my mom!
Dante: Dr. Shakalu brought my some crazy Zimbabwe weed that turns you into a deer.
Alex: You do know that lions eat deer?
Dante: Woah, Your right kid. Doctor, we gotta be careful.
J.P.: Adios, turd nuggets.
J.P.: [Upon leaning against a black wall in a black jacket]
[Stunned]
J.P.: How could he see me?
J.P.: [Robot Voice to Alex walking away] I hate your face.
Alex: [pauses, turns around] Did you say something?
J.P.: [Hides behind coat]
Alex: You're f*ckin' weird.
J.P.: ...How did he see me?
Josh: EAT IT wh*re
Josh: [first line in the movie] f*ck! Stop hitting me.
Jeff: Do you have bathrooms here or do I have to sh*t in a plant?
J.P.: How do you two know each other?
Samantha: I woke him up here this morning. He feel asleep working late last night.
J.P.: Yeah. Well, that's what old people do. They fall asleep.
Alex: Wow J.P, that is a great outfit. How much do clothes cost in The Matrix?
J.P.: [guffaws] So funny I forgot to laugh.
Alex: Hey, Timmy, any chance I can crash on your couch tonight?
Timmy: Why? So you can jerk off on my mom?
Alex: Jeff's a f*cking liar, Timmy!
Alex: Wow. That Grace sure makes me feel warm and welcome.
Grandma Lilly: Well, you'd be bitter too if you had four husbands die on you.
Alex: Probably suicides.
Samantha: Alex, I need you to deal with 10 through 15 because those are the real problem levels and...
Alex: [farts]
Samantha: Is he sleeping?
Jeff: Yes, and possibly sh*tting his pants.
[pats Alex]
Jeff: Wake up, dude.
Alex: [wakes up] No chores, Grandma!
Samantha: Nice rip, Alex.
Alex: Rip what?
Alex: So, ladies, I kind of need to use the televis...
Grace: Shh! Go read your Playgirl or something!
Jeff: Dude, jerking off on my mom is one thing. But banging your grandmother and her roommates? That's like... legendary.
Alex: You're an idiot.
J.P.: Back to work, testers!
Grace: Oh, you can stay as long as you like and love any man you choose!
Alex: Don't slit your wrists, Kane. I'm here.
J.P.: All I've ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don't know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter even though I own one, but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk. I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it.
Jeff: [imitating J.P] My name is J.P. I am a robot. I have a robot vagina.
J.P.: [In robot voice] I am a geeenius!
Dante: [Phone rings] What is that ringing?
[Phone rings again]
Dante: Do I have a tumor?
Dante: [looking around nervously while phone is ringing] What is that ringing? Do I have a tumor?
Jeff: Eat that frog dick Timmy!
Grace: I once gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob
Jeff: Wow, was he silent?
Grace: Not after I got thru with him
Dante: I'll smoke it with ya bro, we'll go to the loony bin together. I don't give a f*ck.
Alex: [hangs up the phone] Dude... you have to give me a ride.
Dante: [after smoking] I'm way too baked to drive to the devil's house.
Jeff: Grace... I have something to confess.
Grace: What's that?
Jeff: [pauses] You were my first.
Grace: Really? Oh, that's sweet. You were my...
[thinks hard]
Grace: 3,000-something.
Jeff: [Raises hand to give a high five] Word up.
Josh: She's a massage therapist!
Mover #2: Yeah, she'll massage your cock for money.
Mover #1: There's a word for that, I think it's hooker.
Josh: YOU'RE A HOOKER!
Dante: [Answering the phone stoned] Hello?
Jeff: Dante is Alex there?
Dante: Who is this? Is this the devil?
Alex: Dude, your bed is a car...
Jeff: Yeah, but it's a f*cking sweet car.
Dante: Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr. Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach it taekwondo.
Barry: Yeah, karate monkey, yeah, that's probably safer.
Jeff: Your sh*t's weak!
Jeff: This chick's pussy smelled like the great depression.
Alex: Ever hear of a dog?
Dante: Anybody can get past a dog. But NOBODY f*cks with a lion.
Alex: Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
Dante: Whoa, I don't know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days.
Alex: You're getting a lion?
Dante: Yeah.
Alex: Why?
Dante: To protect my sh*t.
Alex: Never heard of a dog?
Dante: Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody f*cks with a lion.
Alex: Yeah, that's true.
Dante: That is pure f*cking insanity.
Alex: Yeah, I know. He got addicted to hookers.
Dante: No, I'm talking about the guy who threw your bong. You should never throw a bong, kid. Ever.
Shiloh: You guys think you're so f*cking cool, it makes me sick! "Let's go make fun of the vegans and their crazy lifestyle!" We're not hurting anyone! Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!
Jeff: Fruit cup, nice. Way to go mom.
Jeff: Dude, jerking off on my mom is one thing. But sleeping with your Grandma and her two roommates... that's LEGENDARY.
Alex: I don't know what you are but I'm going to f*ckin' eat you too!
Alex: Oh, yes! Finally a roommate who goes shopping. Chicken cutlet, spaghetti with garlic bread, oh, my God, the wings to go with the breast, I don't know what you are but I'm gonna f*cking eat you too.
[looking around]
Alex: Of course she doesn't have a microwave she's f*cking a hundred.
Jeff: What's up Douche Bigalow?
Alex: Hey Speed Racer. Did you valet your bed?
Jeff: No, I self parked it in your ass.
J.P.: Are you afraid of it?
Kane: No I just don't like techno.
J.P.: You would if you had robot ears.
Alex: Dude, why don't you pick up your phone? I've been calling for the past half hour!
Dante: Sorry bro, I was putting up my Christmas tree!
Alex: Dude? It's the middle of July.
Dante: Get the f*ck outta here! It is?
Jeff: I have a bush too, but its not grey
Dante: Whoa, chill bro... You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
Alex: Marathon? f*ck me!
Mr. Cheezle: Very Miyamoto.
Barry: Hey Dante- My girlfriend and I caught you on the news the other night...
Dante: No sh*t? And by "Girlfriend" do you mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick everynight?
Barry: [Laughing hysterically] ... yes...
[Starts to cry]
Bea: Spaceshuttle!
Alex: Who wants a piece of the grey bush?
Milk Maid: Baby want some milk?
Barry: Baby loves milk.
Jeff: So Barry sucked on his first boobie last night.
[people clap]
Barry: [Gleaming with pride] For 13 hours.
Bobby, Co-Worker #1: Challenge.
Jeff: Not now Bobby, Alex's not taking challenges right now. Can't you see he's sleeping?
Bobby, Co-Worker #1: No, I challenge you Jeff.
Jeff: To what came?
Bobby, Co-Worker #1: A little Dance Dance Revolution.
Jeff: That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution so... you're dumb.
Jeff: [looks down] I should have worn a condom.
Yuri: Alex, I make you special deal. I give you five minutes to pack up all your sh*t you don't want thrown out. If you take one extra minute, my two friends, they will take your testicles, and remove them... through your anus.
DDR Machine: [Jeff has just won a DDR Challenge] A NEW HIGH SCORE!
Jeff: [to Bobby, the defeated co-worker] What does "high score" mean? New high score, is that bad? What does that mean? Did I break it?
Alex: Don't Judge Me Monkey
Yuri: Alex, you forgot smoking lamp.
Jeff: Crap that's Alex's intercom.
[answers Alex's intercom and impersonates him]
Jeff: Yello?
Receptionist: Delivery at the front desk for you, Alex.
Jeff: Cool! I hope it's a naked dude with a boner!
Receptionist: What?
Jeff: Nothing.
Jeff: Nice Karma, Guyblow.
Kane: [in reference to Alex] He gives me a reason to live... him and those stank-ass hos.
Alex: [screaming in pain after taking hot tray out of the oven with no gloves on] Cocksucking f*ck!
Alex: You know, I think I forgot something.
Barry: What?
Alex: [Alex pretends to look around for something] This!
[and then kicks Barry in the shin]
Barry: Oh my God. Are you serious? I think he f*cking shattered it.
Samantha: Do you always sleep here, Alex?
Alex: No... uh... I was working late... I love work... I love life.
Alex: [as Alex turns around and Jeff's mom screams bloody murder] Oh, oh my god! I'm sorry! I can't stop coming, I'm sorry! It feels so good!
Jeff: What's up, sh*tlips.
Alex: Hey, I need a huge favor.
Jeff: You're not jerking off on my dad.
Alex: Funny. No, I was wondering if you could do some of my levels.
Jeff: No, why can't you do them?
Alex: It's my roommates. They won't stop watching... porn. I can't get any work done.
Jeff: You're dead to me. Over.
[hangs up phone]
Alex: Well, Jeff's a good friend.
Grace: [as Bea and Lilly are transfixed by the Food Network] Thanks, Alex. Maybe tomorrow you can introduce them to heroin.
Grandma Lilly: [after drinking pot tea] I can feel my... hair growing. You want some soup?
Dante: It's cool that I brought some friends from the Crazy Beaver?
[as a parade of bikers and such file into his grandma's house]
Alex: I wish you would have gone a little less on the crazy and little more on the beaver.
Dante: Relax bro, they're people just like you and me. Now hit this joint and have some fun.
Jeff: Who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era?
Edited by Raccoon00, 13 July 2007 - 12:26 PM.
#9
Posted 13 July 2007 - 12:27 PM
Hahaha i went overboard..
I love this movie
I love this movie
#10
Posted 13 July 2007 - 11:37 PM
haha yea that movie is definitly the sh*t. i went on youtube and watched a sh*t load of the scenes from it for like an hour. funny scenes when they make fun of J.P and sh*t hahah.
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