9 replies to this topic

[XxsilverboyxX]

Anyone here seen the movie grandma's boy???. it was to be one of the funniest movies i've seen in a long time. if you haven't seen it or even heard of it i recommend you go and see it.

[wyte mafia]

yea play my head like a bongo monkey.

[Raccoon00]

I love that movie..

[Glacius]

lol that movie was pretty funny. Grandmas getting toasted ftw!!!

[XxsilverboyxX]

hahah, he jerked to the little doll and came on that dudes mom haha wicked disgusting. "dude i walk outside and i look and see the f*cking king of the jungle, so i went inside and called 5-0" lol

[Captain Winters]

I love this movie...its so great xD

"Play my head monkey, play my head"

"I'm too baked to drive to the Devil's house"

"Drive monkey, drive!"

ROFL

[Sniprwulf]

Dude, you know you cant raise your voice like that when the lion's here

[Raccoon00]

Dante: Wow... where do you get your weed?
Mr. Cheezle: From you, Dante.
Dante: Oh... THAT'S RIGHT! What's up, Mr. Cheezle!
Alex: My Grandma drank all my pot.
Alex: My grandma drank all my pot.
Jeff: That's awesome.
Alex: What?
Jeff: I mean, how many people can say that in a lifetime?
Jeff: Hey, Alex. Can we go back to your grandma's house? I gotta pee.
Alex: Why don't you just go to the alley and pee?
Jeff: I gotta pee out of my ass.
Alex: Well I guess we could go by.
Jeff: Emergency!
Jeff: [stuffing food in his mouth] I'm the cookie monster.
Jeff: Does someone have a light? I found this weed.
Samantha: Oh, I do.
Jeff: [staring at the joint] I wanna smoke it.
Dante: [the phone starts ringing] What's that ringing? Do I have a tumor?
Dante: Does anyone want to try this weed? It's called Brown Explosion.
Alex: What does this one do?
Dante: You get so stoned that you sh*t your pants! Hahahaha!
Jeff: Uh, I don't wanna do that.
Barry: Yeah, I already sh*t my pants this month.
J.P.: [in robot voice] sit on my face
[robot noises]
Jeff: I can't believe you came on my mom!
Dante: Dr. Shakalu brought my some crazy Zimbabwe weed that turns you into a deer.
Alex: You do know that lions eat deer?
Dante: Woah, Your right kid. Doctor, we gotta be careful.
J.P.: Adios, turd nuggets.
J.P.: [Upon leaning against a black wall in a black jacket]
[Stunned]
J.P.: How could he see me?
J.P.: [Robot Voice to Alex walking away] I hate your face.
Alex: [pauses, turns around] Did you say something?
J.P.: [Hides behind coat]
Alex: You're f*ckin' weird.
J.P.: ...How did he see me?
Josh: EAT IT wh*re
Josh: [first line in the movie] f*ck! Stop hitting me.
Jeff: Do you have bathrooms here or do I have to sh*t in a plant?
J.P.: How do you two know each other?
Samantha: I woke him up here this morning. He feel asleep working late last night.
J.P.: Yeah. Well, that's what old people do. They fall asleep.
Alex: Wow J.P, that is a great outfit. How much do clothes cost in The Matrix?
J.P.: [guffaws] So funny I forgot to laugh.
Alex: Hey, Timmy, any chance I can crash on your couch tonight?
Timmy: Why? So you can jerk off on my mom?
Alex: Jeff's a f*cking liar, Timmy!
Alex: Wow. That Grace sure makes me feel warm and welcome.
Grandma Lilly: Well, you'd be bitter too if you had four husbands die on you.
Alex: Probably suicides.
Samantha: Alex, I need you to deal with 10 through 15 because those are the real problem levels and...
Alex: [farts]
Samantha: Is he sleeping?
Jeff: Yes, and possibly sh*tting his pants.
[pats Alex]
Jeff: Wake up, dude.
Alex: [wakes up] No chores, Grandma!
Samantha: Nice rip, Alex.
Alex: Rip what?
Alex: So, ladies, I kind of need to use the televis...
Grace: Shh! Go read your Playgirl or something!
Jeff: Dude, jerking off on my mom is one thing. But banging your grandmother and her roommates? That's like... legendary.
Alex: You're an idiot.
J.P.: Back to work, testers!
Grace: Oh, you can stay as long as you like and love any man you choose!
Alex: Don't slit your wrists, Kane. I'm here.
J.P.: All I've ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don't know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter even though I own one, but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk. I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it.
Jeff: [imitating J.P] My name is J.P. I am a robot. I have a robot vagina.
J.P.: [In robot voice] I am a geeenius!
Dante: [Phone rings] What is that ringing?
[Phone rings again]
Dante: Do I have a tumor?
Dante: [looking around nervously while phone is ringing] What is that ringing? Do I have a tumor?
Jeff: Eat that frog dick Timmy!
Grace: I once gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob
Jeff: Wow, was he silent?
Grace: Not after I got thru with him
Dante: I'll smoke it with ya bro, we'll go to the loony bin together. I don't give a f*ck.
Alex: [hangs up the phone] Dude... you have to give me a ride.
Dante: [after smoking] I'm way too baked to drive to the devil's house.
Jeff: Grace... I have something to confess.
Grace: What's that?
Jeff: [pauses] You were my first.
Grace: Really? Oh, that's sweet. You were my...
[thinks hard]
Grace: 3,000-something.
Jeff: [Raises hand to give a high five] Word up.
Josh: She's a massage therapist!
Mover #2: Yeah, she'll massage your cock for money.
Mover #1: There's a word for that, I think it's hooker.
Josh: YOU'RE A HOOKER!
Dante: [Answering the phone stoned] Hello?
Jeff: Dante is Alex there?
Dante: Who is this? Is this the devil?
Alex: Dude, your bed is a car...
Jeff: Yeah, but it's a f*cking sweet car.
Dante: Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr. Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach it taekwondo.
Barry: Yeah, karate monkey, yeah, that's probably safer.
Jeff: Your sh*t's weak!
Jeff: This chick's pussy smelled like the great depression.
Alex: Ever hear of a dog?
Dante: Anybody can get past a dog. But NOBODY f*cks with a lion.
Alex: Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
Dante: Whoa, I don't know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days.
Alex: You're getting a lion?
Dante: Yeah.
Alex: Why?
Dante: To protect my sh*t.
Alex: Never heard of a dog?
Dante: Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody f*cks with a lion.
Alex: Yeah, that's true.
Dante: That is pure f*cking insanity.
Alex: Yeah, I know. He got addicted to hookers.
Dante: No, I'm talking about the guy who threw your bong. You should never throw a bong, kid. Ever.
Shiloh: You guys think you're so f*cking cool, it makes me sick! "Let's go make fun of the vegans and their crazy lifestyle!" We're not hurting anyone! Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!
Jeff: Fruit cup, nice. Way to go mom.
Jeff: Dude, jerking off on my mom is one thing. But sleeping with your Grandma and her two roommates... that's LEGENDARY.
Alex: I don't know what you are but I'm going to f*ckin' eat you too!
Alex: Oh, yes! Finally a roommate who goes shopping. Chicken cutlet, spaghetti with garlic bread, oh, my God, the wings to go with the breast, I don't know what you are but I'm gonna f*cking eat you too.
[looking around]
Alex: Of course she doesn't have a microwave she's f*cking a hundred.
Jeff: What's up Douche Bigalow?
Alex: Hey Speed Racer. Did you valet your bed?
Jeff: No, I self parked it in your ass.
J.P.: Are you afraid of it?
Kane: No I just don't like techno.
J.P.: You would if you had robot ears.
Alex: Dude, why don't you pick up your phone? I've been calling for the past half hour!
Dante: Sorry bro, I was putting up my Christmas tree!
Alex: Dude? It's the middle of July.
Dante: Get the f*ck outta here! It is?
Jeff: I have a bush too, but its not grey
Dante: Whoa, chill bro... You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.
Alex: Marathon? f*ck me!
Mr. Cheezle: Very Miyamoto.
Barry: Hey Dante- My girlfriend and I caught you on the news the other night...
Dante: No sh*t? And by "Girlfriend" do you mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick everynight?
Barry: [Laughing hysterically] ... yes...
[Starts to cry]
Bea: Spaceshuttle!
Alex: Who wants a piece of the grey bush?
Milk Maid: Baby want some milk?
Barry: Baby loves milk.
Jeff: So Barry sucked on his first boobie last night.
[people clap]
Barry: [Gleaming with pride] For 13 hours.
Bobby, Co-Worker #1: Challenge.
Jeff: Not now Bobby, Alex's not taking challenges right now. Can't you see he's sleeping?
Bobby, Co-Worker #1: No, I challenge you Jeff.
Jeff: To what came?
Bobby, Co-Worker #1: A little Dance Dance Revolution.
Jeff: That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution so... you're dumb.
Jeff: [looks down] I should have worn a condom.
Yuri: Alex, I make you special deal. I give you five minutes to pack up all your sh*t you don't want thrown out. If you take one extra minute, my two friends, they will take your testicles, and remove them... through your anus.
DDR Machine: [Jeff has just won a DDR Challenge] A NEW HIGH SCORE!
Jeff: [to Bobby, the defeated co-worker] What does "high score" mean? New high score, is that bad? What does that mean? Did I break it?
Alex: Don't Judge Me Monkey
Yuri: Alex, you forgot smoking lamp.
Jeff: Crap that's Alex's intercom.
[answers Alex's intercom and impersonates him]
Jeff: Yello?
Receptionist: Delivery at the front desk for you, Alex.
Jeff: Cool! I hope it's a naked dude with a boner!
Receptionist: What?
Jeff: Nothing.
Jeff: Nice Karma, Guyblow.
Kane: [in reference to Alex] He gives me a reason to live... him and those stank-ass hos.
Alex: [screaming in pain after taking hot tray out of the oven with no gloves on] Cocksucking f*ck!
Alex: You know, I think I forgot something.
Barry: What?
Alex: [Alex pretends to look around for something] This!
[and then kicks Barry in the shin]
Barry: Oh my God. Are you serious? I think he f*cking shattered it.
Samantha: Do you always sleep here, Alex?
Alex: No... uh... I was working late... I love work... I love life.
Alex: [as Alex turns around and Jeff's mom screams bloody murder] Oh, oh my god! I'm sorry! I can't stop coming, I'm sorry! It feels so good!
Jeff: What's up, sh*tlips.
Alex: Hey, I need a huge favor.
Jeff: You're not jerking off on my dad.
Alex: Funny. No, I was wondering if you could do some of my levels.
Jeff: No, why can't you do them?
Alex: It's my roommates. They won't stop watching... porn. I can't get any work done.
Jeff: You're dead to me. Over.
[hangs up phone]
Alex: Well, Jeff's a good friend.
Grace: [as Bea and Lilly are transfixed by the Food Network] Thanks, Alex. Maybe tomorrow you can introduce them to heroin.
Grandma Lilly: [after drinking pot tea] I can feel my... hair growing. You want some soup?
Dante: It's cool that I brought some friends from the Crazy Beaver?
[as a parade of bikers and such file into his grandma's house]
Alex: I wish you would have gone a little less on the crazy and little more on the beaver.
Dante: Relax bro, they're people just like you and me. Now hit this joint and have some fun.
Jeff: Who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era?

Edited by Raccoon00, 13 July 2007 - 12:26 PM.

[Raccoon00]

Hahaha i went overboard..

I love this movie

[XxsilverboyxX]

haha yea that movie is definitly the sh*t. i went on youtube and watched a sh*t load of the scenes from it for like an hour. funny scenes when they make fun of J.P and sh*t hahah.