68 replies to this topic

[MainEvent]

Good luck man.

[Cleric]

Out of curiosity, I know you are probably a little excited and congratz again, so have you given any thought to the really important things. I mean you seem to know you will keep the kid, and you know you can support the kid but what about things like;

[Assuming your kid is a boy]

What car is he going to drive?
What computer rig are you going to have him play on?
Is 5 to young for CSS?
What if he is not good at sports?
What if he brings home a boy at 18 and tells you he is gay?
What if he is born with a huge dick that dwarfs yours now?
What if he is better then you are at video games and you are not letting him win on purpose?
What if he plays with barbies instead of G.I. Joes?
What if he is the towel boy for the football team?

[Assuming your kid is a girl]

Will you be okay after years of tampon runs?
What instrument will you beat her boyfriend with he she comes home crying?
What if she plays with G.I. Joes instead of barbies?
What if she is better then you are at video games?
How much coffee will it take to stay through a dance recital? (or speed?)
What if she tells you to go die in a fire because you are embarrassing her in front of her friends?
What if you become the weirdo dad who stalks her boyfriends and runs background checks on them?
What if she starts dating a black guy?

[General Questions]

How do you explain it when he/she walks in on you and your gf having sex? Daddy was wrestling with mommy?
How hard do you beat your kids so they learn their lesson but don't get an idea to call DCFS?
Since everything is baby proofed are you sure you can open the cabinet with the liquor or the cabinet with the Drano?
What if they ask for a cellphone at the age of 12 and will they be fooled by a very colorfully painted rock.
What if your kid comes out special? <-Serious question


Just ponder some of these questions as all the financial and monetary questions are nothing in comparison to how you are going to keep your child away from Shadow until his balls drop or until she is legally 18. You also might want to re-enforce the story about how not to take candy from strangers and not to get in mysterious painted vans.

Edited by Cleric, 04 March 2009 - 04:57 PM.

[Chris82]

Assumption that a 12-year old shouldn't have a cell phone

[DarkShadow]

surprised cleric didn't chuck this one in there...

What if the kid is black?

[Scroll_Lock88]

surprised cleric didn't chuck this one in there...

What if the kid is black?

[ashbash]

surprised cleric didn't chuck this one in there...

What if the kid is black?

drown it and its slutty mother?

[�HADOW109]

Ask your doctor to check if you're baby is retarded or mentally disabled, if so, they are great reasons for abortion. Otherwise, you're life is going to be really hard from now because if you are pursuing a career which requires a college degree, you leave your girl and the baby alone. You have to pay more tax with a low income. With a father figure never around, he/she is going to have a sh*t life and a sh*t attitude. Its simply very difficult to keep a relationship with your son/daughter if you're always busy, if you send them to you're parents or your gf's parents, the relationship would be even more distant. If you abort, at least you'll have another shot at a stable life.

Edited by �HADOW109, 04 March 2009 - 08:18 PM.

[Snookers]

lol at cleric and shadow.

but anyways congratz and goodluck man.

[Cleric]

surprised cleric didn't chuck this one in there...

What if the kid is black?

I thought about it and was thinking of phrasing it like

What would you do to Wondergod if your baby was born black?

[korosys420]

congrats an good luck. i have a baby due any week now myself, ohhh the fun, be my third one. time will fly by before ya know it. my oldest is almost 9

Edited by korosys420, 04 March 2009 - 11:03 PM.

[XxInColdBloodxX]

My only suggestion is, work on your relationship with your girlfriend. Not saying you need it, but living together is a huge test for a relationship. You guys planning to get married or not there yet?

We do have a fairly stable relationship right now, we have talked about marriage in the future, but not anytime soon. We figure if we can last together for around one year, two years or longer (in that time we will live together) that we figure we will be stable enough to get married.

Out of curiosity, I know you are probably a little excited and congratz again, so have you given any thought to the really important things. I mean you seem to know you will keep the kid, and you know you can support the kid but what about things like;

[Assuming your kid is a boy]

What car is he going to drive? Dodge Viper Srt 10
What computer rig are you going to have him play on? I'm going to build him one
Is 5 to young for CSS? 5 is far to old
What if he is not good at sports? He will kick any kids ass at counter strike
What if he brings home a boy at 18 and tells you he is gay? I'll start introducing him as my other daughter
What if he is born with a huge dick that dwarfs yours now? I dont plan on seeing it
What if he is better then you are at video games and you are not letting him win on purpose? I'll use hacks and say im better than him
What if he plays with barbies instead of G.I. Joes? I'll give him a lighter and some gas and tell him fire is much more fun than barbies
What if he is the towel boy for the football team? I'll tell him to piss on the towels or wipe his balls with the towels

[Assuming your kid is a girl]

Will you be okay after years of tampon runs? My girlfriend can take care of that
What instrument will you beat her boyfriend with he she comes home crying? A Car
What if she plays with G.I. Joes instead of barbies? I really dont know how to answer this one
What if she is better then you are at video games? Start crying
How much coffee will it take to stay through a dance recital? (or speed?) ALOT
What if she tells you to go die in a fire because you are embarrassing her in front of her friends? I'll laugh at her and tell her shes just on her period and to stop being a bitch
What if you become the weirdo dad who stalks her boyfriends and runs background checks on them? Idk lol, im sure my girlfriend(or maybe wife at the time) would kill me lol
What if she starts dating a black guy? Move to the south, the deep south.

[General Questions]

How do you explain it when he/she walks in on you and your gf having sex? Daddy was wrestling with mommy? Just yell "surprise!"
How hard do you beat your kids so they learn their lesson but don't get an idea to call DCFS? wtf is the DCFS
Since everything is baby proofed are you sure you can open the cabinet with the liquor or the cabinet with the Drano? I hope so
What if they ask for a cellphone at the age of 12 and will they be fooled by a very colorfully painted rock. Tell them to get a fucking job
What if your kid comes out special? <-Serious question I really haven't thought about this one and i should, i guess i'll just have to deal with it and get them as much help as i can get to make them happy in life.


Just ponder some of these questions as all the financial and monetary questions are nothing in comparison to how you are going to keep your child away from Shadow until his balls drop or until she is legally 18. You also might want to re-enforce the story about how not to take candy from strangers and not to get in mysterious painted vans.

Yes, i have thought of shadow... calling my house, no fucking joke, im not even registered at this address and he found my house phone and called my mom one day when i was away. So i will just have to let nature take its course and let Shadow show them the ways. I was thinking of making them call him Uncle Shadow or something cool like that, since i assume he'll be calling them and harassing them and there is no point in stopping him, because frankly, its shadow and there is no stopping him because the rape train has no breaks.

And shadow to answer your question.

killmyself in the lulziest way possibly.

[AssHattery]

ya GL man you seem to have a good set up with the family and cash situation so thats good.... will still be tough but at least you have that half of it covered

[EVIL Shenanigans]

So your first born is gonna be a bastard and your okay with that? Not tryin to poke fun...and alot of ppl get married because of kids and not because they love each other, which i think is kinda f*cked up...but damn. I'm just glad im not a bastard, ya know...

As far as what Cleric said the second time around...thats alot of sh*t. I wouldnt say plan for everything on that list, but you should kinda expect all possibilities....

And yeah...gl with life man. Wish i was given a house...nice present. Ask them to gift wrap it for you.

[Cleric]

As far as what Cleric said the second time around...thats alot of sh*t.

You realize everyone one of my posts as humorous and possibly negative as they may seem was all a joke. I was just trying to bring a little fun into the situation since everyone REALLY thinks he is f*cked even though pretty mush everyone said goodluck and congratz.

He obviously knows the most about the situation at hand and has probably thought about it for some time since this is like the third post related to this topic over the last two months. If you can't laugh at the really horrible things in life then you might as well just curl up in a ball and die because life sucks no matter if you have a kid or if you don't.

And on that note I leave you all with these pictures.







Enjoy!!

[Halcomb]

lol... the condom broke? Then I suppose you were smart enough to take her to get a "morning after pill." But wait... you didn't. f*ck me, you were intelligent? nope.

And College? I hope it's next door because you're going to be away from your kid and your wife if you go, and god knows how wonderfully that'll go over with her. Did she plan on going or just you? I'm sure the dickless father figure will pay for both of you as soon as you're done divorcing each other because nothing says awesome like a payout. And I'm sure the same dad will pay for the child support; not because you two have lived together before, but because you must have spent a ton of time together and having spent years waking up next to each it other won't bother you, right? I mean, as a couple, right? Forever and ever? Right?

LULZ.

Enjoy it, right?

edit: Cold, I am not trying to be an asshole, but I do hate seeing you suckered in.

Edited by Halcomb, 07 March 2009 - 07:31 AM.

[XxInColdBloodxX]

Ok Halcomb, she warned me at first that she would never take the pill or get a abortion.
And why do you contently sound off when you don't even know my situation.
How about shut the fuck up and let me take care of this because its starting to irritate me.
You don't know my family, you don't know me and you certainly don't know what goes on in my life day to day.


So as far as i'm concerned, yes there's alot to deal with that i will get to when the time comes, and i know i don't know everything thats going on.
But neither do you, shut the fuck up, i don't care what you have to say, it means nothing when you don't know half the fucking story.

So how about piss the fuck off, kthnxbye.

[ashbash]

don't post your sh*t on a forum if you don't want to hear someones opinion?


either way good luck with the baby.

[Halcomb]

lulz, honestly if the post was made after 3am don't take it to heart, it's a drunk post. I just don't want you to be in the same situation I've seen so many others in and if these asshole posts have made you reconsider a little bit, whatever, I really meant no offense. These other people weren't urchins either, but by short comings or other events had a falling out with those they thought would be there as a safety net.

So honestly man, you're going to get something only Shadow has gotten in the past, which is an apology. If you have it sorted out, great and I congratulate you. I just hate, with everything I have, to see anyone giving up the time that you're about to. The age between 18-25 is usually the time of those best and worst experiences and lessons; of which you're about to get some hard ones.

I just hope you know what you're about to give up.

So really bro, I'm sorry for the dick posts, I've just seen your exact reasoning fail in the past.

Edited by Halcomb, 08 March 2009 - 04:04 AM.

[WhiteRabbit]

Seriously, way to be man enough to appologize Halcomb.

[Capt.John]

Congrats dude and good luck in the future